Flirting expert Dani Buenvenida shares her top tips for getting exactly what you want this upcoming love holiday—whether it’s a kiss, a date, or a relationship label—all through the power of flirting
This Valentine’s Day, why leave love to chance when you can flirt your way to exactly what you want? Dani Buenvenida, known as the ‘Landi Tip Queen’ and the voice behind the Landian with Dani podcast, knows exactly how to turn playful banter into a winning strategy. A Magna Cum Laude graduate from UP Diliman with a BA in Speech Communication and an Area of Concentration in Interpersonal and Instructional Communication, Dani has the expertise to break down the science of attraction and connection. She’s also part of Singles Events Manila, the first and only dating company in the Philippines, making her no stranger to the nuances of modern romance. Whether you’re hoping to lock down a relationship, get a kiss, or even score the perfect Valentine’s surprise, Dani’s tips will have you confidently taking the lead. Get ready to master the art of flirting and make this Valentine’s Day unforgettable—on your terms.
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GOAL: Define the Relationship
Flirting Tip: Keep it Casual or Take the Lead
When it comes to defining the relationship on Valentine’s Day, Dani knows that labels can be a tricky subject—especially for a generation that often avoids them out of fear of commitment. “A lot of people fail to realize that labels don’t necessarily mean commitment,” she explains. Situationships, friends with benefits, even the ever-elusive talking stage—these are all labels, just without the official weight. The difference is, past generations had limited romantic options, mostly meeting people through mutual connections. Now, thanks to social media and dating apps, modern dating feels like an endless buffet of choices, making the idea of settling down even more daunting. But if you want to take things to the next level this Valentine’s Day, Dani’s advice is simple: communicate in a way that feels natural to your connection. “If your relationship is built on teasing and playful banter, don’t suddenly shift to a serious, pressure-filled conversation—it’ll just feel out of place,” she says. Instead, keep it light. A casual “Normal friends don’t talk 24/7, right? So, what are we?” is a much smoother approach than a dramatic sit-down.
And if you’re already dating exclusively but waiting for him to make it official? Dani believes there’s nothing wrong with taking the lead. “If you’re sure he’s ready, why not initiate? That would be memorable,” she points out. A woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to say it? That’s a power move—one that might just make this Valentine’s Day one to remember.
GOAL: Get a Kiss From Your Date
Flirting Tip: Focus on Eye Contact
If you’re hoping to seal the deal with a kiss this Valentine’s Day, Dani has a few tricks up her sleeve—starting with the power of eye contact. “When you’re talking to someone, look them straight in the eye,” she says. Sounds simple, right? But she gets it—staring into the eyes of your crush can feel daunting. Her solution? Cheat the system. “If eye contact is too intense, look at their forehead or the space between their eyebrows. From their perspective, it still feels like you’re making direct eye contact.” The key is to stay engaged and create that lingering moment of tension.
Then, there’s the triangle method—a classic move that only works when you’re close enough to make an impact. “Look at their left eye, then their mouth, then their right eye,” Dani explains. “Just don’t do it while they’re talking, or they might get self-conscious.” To amp up the attraction, she also suggests playing with your voice. “When we’re excited or nervous, we tend to speak at a higher pitch. Instead, slow down, lower your tone, and even drop your volume a little—so they have to lean in closer and ask, ‘What did you say? Can you repeat that?’”
And if you want to channel that old-school Filipina charm? Try what Dani calls the landi stare. “Lower your chin just a bit and look up at them—like the traditional Filipina coy glance behind a fan, but without the fan,” she says. This subtle shift in body language exudes femininity and intrigue. But what if you’ve done all this and they’re still not making a move? Dani’s final trick is foolproof: “Just look at their lips—hold the gaze for a moment—and then smile.”
Make Your Crush Ask You Out
Flirting Tip: Create Openings and Opportunities
If you’ve got your sights set on making your crush ask you out this Valentine’s Day, Dani’s advice is all about creating opportunities for connection. “If there’s already an attraction, I’d try to increase my proximity,” she says, whether that means being physically close or engaging more on social media. She suggests finding something from their existing posts and using it as a conversation starter: “Ask them where a picture was taken—like, ‘Is this in Quezon City?’” It’s a subtle way to initiate a chat and drop hints about wanting to spend time together.
Dani also suggests asking about their Valentine’s Day plans, especially in a group setting. “You can say, ‘What do you guys plan for Valentine’s Day?’ and then follow up with something like, ‘If you don’t have a date, do you want to visit this café?’” But what if you feel the tension already brewing? Don’t wait for them to make the first move—take the plunge. Dani points out that “a lot of guys are scared to make a move these days, especially with how strong and independent women can be.” And if you’ve never been clingy before? It might be time to break the touch barrier. “When they make a joke, just laugh and touch their bicep or chest. Or grab their attention by holding their bicep. Trust me, it’s their weak spot,” she laughs. It’s all about showing your interest without making it too intense, leaving the door wide open for them to take the next step.
Get Your Dream Valentine’s Date
Flirting Tip: Be Clear and Straightforward
If your dream Valentine’s date feels more like a long shot—especially if your partner or boyfriend is anti-Valentine’s or doesn’t seem interested in making plans—Dani’s advice is straightforward: sometimes, you’ve just got to spell it out. “Tell them. Lambingin mo. Guys can be so clueless,” she laughs. “Sometimes you just have to tell them, ‘I know you love me every day, but this is different. We want to feel appreciated on Valentine’s Day.’” She points out that if they’re still unwilling to make any plans at all, it might be a red flag. “Sometimes, they think their schedule or the traffic is the issue, but for us, it’s more about the effort.”
Dani stresses the importance of communication, especially early in a relationship. “If you’re new to each other, don’t expect too much. Just inform them how you want to be treated,” she says. It doesn’t need to be grandiose—small gestures and subtle hints go a long way. “For example, write a cute, simple letter or drop some hints.” It’s all about setting the stage for your needs to be met without overwhelming them, ensuring that no matter what happens, you’ve done your part to express your desires. And if they respond? Well, that’s when you know whether or not they’re on the same page.
GOAL: Turn a Casual Hangout Into a Valentine’s Date
Flirting Tip: Break the Touch Barrier
If you’re trying to turn a casual hangout into a full-on Valentine’s date, Dani says it’s all about breaking the touch barrier. She recalls a story of a friend who was getting frustrated during a date, wondering why the guy didn’t initiate any physical contact. “Her love language is physical touch, but she didn’t want to make the first move,” Dani explains. “The guy had planned everything—he picked the restaurant, paid for the date—but she was left wondering, why isn’t he holding my hand?” The solution came unexpectedly during a visit to church. “While singing the song ‘Ama Namin,’ my friend just intertwined their hands. And guess what? The guy didn’t let go. He held her hand the whole time—even opening the car door, it stayed intertwined!”
Dani points out that sometimes, you just need to make the first move because, often, guys are hesitant. “They might think it’s too much or they’re worried they’ll make you uncomfortable,” she says. But it’s all about creating that connection—whether it’s a handhold or a light touch on the arm. “Don’t be afraid to initiate it yourself,” Dani encourages. After all, if you don’t take the plunge, you might miss out on turning that casual hangout into something more memorable.
Flirting with Confidence: Owning Your Power in Dating
Flirting isn’t just about playful exchanges and coy smiles—it’s a powerful tool that can shift the dynamic in dating and relationships. Dani wants to break the stigma around the word landi in Filipino culture, explaining that flirting is often seen in a negative light when, in reality, it’s simply the starting point of any romantic connection. “Before you even get into a relationship, what did you do first? You flirted,” she points out. And it’s not a one-size-fits-all approach
“People assume flirting is just eye contact and touching, but there are actually five different types—physical, polite, sincere, traditional, and playful.”
– Dani Buenvenida explains how there’s no single way to flirt
For women, embracing flirting can be empowering, especially in a dating landscape where men are traditionally expected to initiate. “Once you start being confident—or even just fake it till you make it—it changes everything,” Dani shares. She recalls how, at first, she hesitated to make the first move, but when she did, she realized, ‘Wow, I can do it’. And when the other person reciprocates? “That makes you feel so good,” she says. Confidence is key, and the secret is that no one can tell if it’s real or not. “If you flirt with conviction, if you look like you know what you’re doing, there’s no guy who wouldn’t fall for you.” At the same time, flirting isn’t just about attracting someone—it’s also about knowing when to step back. “You can only make the first move up to a certain point,” Dani advises. “If you’re the only one putting in the effort and there’s no return, stop. Do some self-love. But just try.”
The Power of a Woman Making the First Move
Making the first move isn’t just about getting a date—it’s about owning your confidence. Dani believes that when a woman initiates flirting or asks someone out, it’s a sign that she’s sure of herself.
“It makes a woman attractive because it shows that even if they reject you, you won’t feel bad. It’s just you communicating that you like this person and if they don’t feel the same way? then okay. You’re still fine.”
– Dani Buenvenida on why there’s no shame in a woman making the first move
But that level of confidence doesn’t just appear overnight—it starts with self-love. “Before you enter a relationship, I really advise you to love yourself fully,” Dani says. Otherwise, rejection might feel like a reflection of your worth rather than just a mismatch. “If you’re not sure of yourself, you’ll start doubting—‘What’s wrong with me? What do they have that I don’t?” That’s why she embraces rejection therapy, a mindset shift where she challenges herself to take risks, no matter the odds. “Even if this guy is out of my league, I’m gonna try anyway. Why not?” Because at the end of the day, confidence isn’t about always winning—it’s about knowing you’re enough, whether or not someone else sees it.
At the end of the day, flirting isn’t just about getting a date—it’s about getting to know yourself. Dani’s final advice? Just go for it. “Don’t be afraid to make mistakes—it’s in the mistakes that you learn,” she says. Every awkward encounter, every missed signal, and even every rejection teaches you something about what you want, what you need, and what you’ll never settle for. And you’ll never figure that out if you don’t put yourself out there. “Flirt now that we’re at this age, we’re not getting any younger,” she adds. Waiting around, hoping romance will magically fall into place, won’t get you anywhere. Experience is the only way to understand your non-negotiables and preferences. So be bold, take the risk, and most importantly—landi responsibly.
Photos and Featured Image: MEGA ARCHIVES, DANI BUENVENIDA
