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You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t force him to drink. Similarly, you can list down all the ways that misogyny actually hurts everyone in society, but not all will listen. Some might be dismissive and say that’s just how men are. Some might get defensive and blame you. And some might tell you that offending you was never their intention—like what Quezon City 4th District Rep. Bong Suntay did regarding his inappropriate remarks toward Anne Curtis.
RELATED: What Happened to Anne Curtis Is a Sad Reminder Why We Still Need Women’s Month
“The analogy made was not intended to put malice in that particular statement. Ang gusto natin is i-point out na kadalasan, may mga statements which are taken out of context. Dapat tingnan ang kabuuan at hindi dapat nagpupunta sa konklusyon. Ayaw natin makasakit through that analogy but kung may nasaktan, humihingi tayo ng dispensa. Kay Ms. Anne Curtis rin, kung nasaktan siya sa sinabi, there was no malice intended at tayo ay humihingi ng dispensa sa kanya,” the lawmaker said.
Online, Suntay was once again criticized. Many deemed him to be lacking in proper accountability because of the words he used. Sheila Guevara-Suntay, mental health advocate and wife of the representative, also apologized to the actress, stating that “no woman should ever be spoken about that way.”
Between the two, Curtis only accepted the latter’s apology.
A Firm Boundary
In her Instagram post, Curtis shared her full stance about the matter. There was no doubt that the actress handled the situation eloquently. But more importantly, she emphasized that the issue was bigger than her, and she was right. A public servant may have started this entire, necessary conversation, yet there were people who defended Suntay. There were those who agreed that nothing he said was wrong.
Regardless of whether this controversy happened or not, misogyny persists, be it blatantly or in small, insidious ways that can be plausibly denied.
As a woman, you’re allowed and encouraged to be dissatisfied if it means you won’t become a participant in your own belittlement. For too long, casual degradation from men has been framed as praise, when it’s really not. There’s nothing remotely complimentary about being sexualized without your consent. And if all you receive after that is indifference, mockery, or a lukewarm “sorry,” then you’re within your own right to not tolerate that. Anne Curtis is more than generous to say that she will not be carrying what happened to her as a personal wound, but she’s not shrinking herself either.
So, go ahead. Be difficult and challenge the status quo. Be demanding to raise standards. Be non-compliant toward those who still find it funny to talk about women like they’re objects. Respect is never too much to ask.
Photos: MEGA ARCHIVES & ANNE CURTIS (via Instagram)
Frequently Asked Questions
Quezon City 4th District Representative Bong Suntay made remarks directed at Anne Curtis that were widely criticized as inappropriate and misogynistic. He subsequently stated that no malice was intended and offered an apology, though many observers noted the language of his response lacked full accountability. Curtis accepted a separate apology from Suntay’s wife, mental health advocate Sheila Guevara-Suntay, but not from the representative himself.
Anne Curtis addressed the incident through a public Instagram post in which she outlined her full position on the matter. She framed the issue as larger than a personal slight, situating it within a broader pattern of casual misogyny toward women in public life. She stated she would not carry the incident as a personal wound while making clear she would not minimize what occurred.
Being dissatisfied — refusing to normalize casual degradation, sexualization without consent, and inadequate apologies — is framed as an act of self-preservation rather than complaint. The argument is that women have long been conditioned to accept diminishment framed as flattery, and that rejecting this framing is a prerequisite for raising the standard of how women are treated in public and private life.
Anne Curtis’s public response to Rep. Suntay’s remarks is significant because it named the behavior, declined to minimize it, and centered the broader social issue rather than allowing the incident to be reduced to a personal dispute. In the Philippine context, where female celebrities are often expected to absorb criticism quietly, her refusal to do so — and her insistence on a full apology — represented a public standard-setting moment.
Everyday misogyny refers to casual, often deniable acts of sexism — remarks framed as compliments, sexualization presented as flattery, and apologies that deflect rather than acknowledge harm. It is difficult to challenge because it is frequently defended as unintentional or taken out of context, placing the burden of proof on the woman who experienced it rather than on the person responsible for it.
