Does romance still need a formal ask? Every Valentine’s Day, bouquets are cradled in arms, sweets are tied with ribbons, and sometimes a cheeky question is written on a cake or a coffee cup: Will you be my Valentine?
But as relationships grow long-term and marriages settle into routine, another question lingers—should you still ask?
Personally, I think yes. Even when you’re already together, asking keeps the season of love intentional. It signals effort, reminds you you’re still chosen, and resists complacency. But that’s just me. Which is why we asked creators and their partners how they really feel about the Valentine’s ask.
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Yes, I Will Be Your Valentine
Social media star Marj Maroket-Winter sees Valentine’s Day a little differently. “I think Valentine’s Day is a more special version of your everyday love,” she shared.
As the planner in her marriage to Brendan Winter, Marj admits she enjoys relinquishing control on Valentine’s Day. Early in their relationship, she told Brendan that being asked mattered to her—and that February should always come with a question.
“When he asks me, I know he’s already planned something,” she explained. “I don’t have to do anything. I just get to feel excited knowing something special is coming.”
“He doesn’t know why he has to ask, but he does it because he knows that it’s important to me.”
– Marj Maroket-Winter
Brendan, like many partners, initially questioned the ritual. “I was trying to make sense of why I needed to ask when we were already together,” he admitted. “It went from her telling me directly, to gentle reminders like, ‘Are you going to ask? Am I still your Valentine?’”
Eventually, the reasoning became clear. “The intention behind it is something she really values,” he said. “It makes her happy. So that’s something I’ll gladly do every year.”
Every Day Is Valentine’s Day
“It’s so corny, but every day is Valentine’s day!” beauty creator Belle Rodolfo chuckled. She and her fiancé, Dr. Deng Garcia, a veterinarian, have been together for six years—and in true queer fashion, moved in together just months after becoming exclusive.
“I don’t think we even asked each other from the start,” she shared, recalling their first Valentine’s together. “We were already living together, so we didn’t expect grand gestures. But Deng is always thoughtful and sweet.”
Coming from someone who proposed back to Deng on Valentine’s Day last year, by the way!
“We both met as people who were prepared for something more long-term.”
– Belle Rodolfo
Still, not asking doesn’t automatically mean neglect. What matters most is communication—knowing what makes your partner feel loved, and meeting them there.
Your Forever Valentine
Style influencer David Guison and television host Angelique Manto’s love story began with Zoom dates during the pandemic—and is now leading to marriage in a few months. For them, Valentine’s Day is one of many moments to pause and celebrate.
“We celebrate Valentine’s just like how we celebrate birthdays and anniversaries,” David shared, sharing their love with handwritten notes and ticking off a restaurant they’ve been wanting to try.
“Love grows when it is acknowledged and celebrated.”
– David Guison
While he still asks Angelique to be his Valentine, he had to learn it the hard way. “I assumed Angelique already knew she was my forever Valentine,” David said. “But after years of hearing, ‘You still haven’t asked me,’ I realized—you still have to ask, no matter the stage of your relationship.”
For the couple, the gesture matters more than the scale. “It doesn’t matter how simple or grand it is,” Guison said. “What matters is making your partner feel loved and considered.”
So, Should You Ask?
Ultimately, it doesn’t matter who asks, when they ask, or how. Valentine’s Day isn’t about obligation—it’s about intention. Whether you mark the day with a formal question, a handwritten note, or a shared meal, what counts is choosing your partner again.
As Guison puts it best: “Keep the fire burning.”
Featured Image and Photos: BELLE RODOLFO, MARJ MAROKET, ANGELIQUE MANTO (via Instagram)
Frequently Asked Questions
Relationship preferences vary, but several couples who were interviewed for this feature emphasize that the act of asking — regardless of relationship length — signals intentionality and continued effort. Style influencer David Guison noted that he learned the importance of still asking after years of assuming his partner already knew she was his Valentine.
For some partners, being asked to be someone’s Valentine signals that they are still being actively chosen rather than taken for granted. Marj Maroket-Winter shared that the ask communicates planning and effort — when her husband Brendan asks, she knows something special has been arranged and she can simply enjoy the anticipation.
Filipino creators Belle Rodolfo, Marj Maroket-Winter, and David Guison represent a range of perspectives: Marj values the formal ask as an annual ritual of intention, Belle and her fiancé Deng Garcia prioritize quality time and communication over grand gestures, and David Guison emphasizes acknowledging love through small, consistent acts like handwritten notes and shared meals.
Based on the experiences shared by the couples featured in this article, the scale of a Valentine’s Day gesture matters less than the thoughtfulness behind it. David Guison and Angelique Manto, for example, celebrate with handwritten notes and restaurant visits rather than elaborate surprises — the emphasis is on making a partner feel considered, not on the size of the occasion.
Belle Rodolfo and her fiancé Dr. Deng Garcia tend to mark Valentine’s Day with low-key, meaningful activities such as trying a new restaurant or going on a staycation. The couple, who have been together for six years, prioritize everyday expressions of love over formal Valentine’s gestures — though Belle notably proposed back to Deng on Valentine’s Day the year prior.
